How to stop people pleasing and living out of fear… 

So I asked my husband last night what I should write about this week… no surprises that his first suggestion was about him (HA), his second however was far more serious (and on point) than I ever expected (maybe those podcasts I listen to while he is sleeping are sinking in on a deep subconscious level #winning)!!.

Have you ever been somewhere and thought to yourself ‘what the heck am I doing here’?

Heck yes…!! This used to be me all the freakin’ time! I am, or rather was, mmm sorta still am, a total people pleaser (don’t panic, I am not perfect, I still fall into old patterns, I am human after all but the key here is awareness).

For many years, the fun years, you know the ones where you have NO damn idea who you are or what you are meant to be? You have no idea what truly lights you up and fuels your fire. Yep during those years I really struggled with who I was and what ‘category’ I was meant to fit in (pretty sure I tried them all out). I said yes to everyone and everything (talk about draining!). I was even the Manager of my University Cheerleading Squad for crying out loud (now, if you knew me you would probably laugh but I like to think that this job gave me some pretty amazing leadership and organisation skills if none other).

For many of those ‘fun years’ I spent them wanting to, and trying to be someone else… trying to tick certain boxes and be a certain way. You know the boxes that magazines and the media brainwash us into believing are real (we’re talking pre facebook and google people – ok now I feel really flippin’ old). The funny thing is though, those boxes I was trying to tick did not even exist, they were boxes that I actually created for myself (hellooooo mean girl//inner critic//ego). Why? Out of FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, fear of upsetting my parents, fear of having no friends, fear of not living up to expectations… and the list goes on.

Where did this leave me? Feeling very confused, exhausted and often pretty funky.

When did things start to shift? Well when I was in my early twenties, after a pretty major episode of people pleasing and feeling pretty far from my truth, I took myself away for some time to recalibrate. Imagine a retreat on a tropical island with total strangers where we were pushed and stretched to our limits (think daily handstands, inversions, singing meditations, bush walks, vegetarian meals and turmeric smoothies). It was on this trip however that I started to find my true north and realised that bigger, brighter and more amazing things were possible. I felt drawn to be me, the real me… to dig deep and find what was inside yearning to come out.

I’ve done lots of personal development, have met some amazing goddesses on my journey and am on the way to shining bright. This is a journey and the destination is not yet fully known. Some things I know my truth to be… 

– Motherhood

– Advocating and being a change agent for children and young people who have experienced trauma

– Inspiring others to step up and rise up 

– Living a low tox life with plenty of organic chocolate (hot chips don’t count right??) 😉 

I believe with every cell in my body that I am worthy of abundance in all areas of my life! As a daily reminder of the importance of being ME and following MY truth I have two tattoo’s – one says ‘Love’ so that every time I look at it I am reminded to always love myself first no matter what, and the other is a yin/yang as a reminder to always maintain a level of balance and equilibrium.

And today, unlike 10 years ago, I have the support of essential oils to help ground or lift my vibrations whenever I need #grateful.

I would love to know, WHO inspires YOU to follow YOUR truth?

If you aren’t following your truth, what might be holding you back?

xo TGM

PS. I now help mentor other gorgeous girls to find and follow their truth – check out Melissa Ambrosini’s Mastering Your Mean Girl Coaching program if you want in on the action. 
 

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